A Brief Conversation About Trans Life
The Empathy Institute seeks to create and hold space for important perspectives on important topics.
This past Friday, November 20 was the Transgender Day of Remembrance. As we remember those we’ve lost and reflect on the horrifying nature of transphobia and its violence, we must also seek to recognize and elevate experiences and expressions of trans life and joy. We are extremely privileged to have had the chance to speak with an incredible human about his experience of being trans in this short interview.
We would like to thank Leon for engaging with us and sharing his important voice, and we would like to reaffirm our commitment as an organization to fighting for trans folks — especially Black and Indigenous trans and gender non-conforming folks — every single day.
Thank you for reading.
The Empathy Institute: What is enriching/joyful about being trans?
Leon: The connections you make and how much more confident you feel interacting with the world around you. When you’re your honest self, feeling more present in the world around you, showing others who you really are and having them accept you as you is the best feeling in the world. It’s like being able to take off a mask of a different face. The small victories can make you feel even better, from being correctly gendered to getting other gender-affirming items and experiences. Also, meeting other people in your community and instantly having a bond over your similar experiences, knowing you’re not alone, and feeling validated. It can be a really amazing and validating experience.
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TEI: What do you wish people knew?
L: There are several things but I’ll try to keep it brief.
For anyone questioning their identity; it’s okay to experiment with your gender and explore your identity. You don’t have to fit into any one box. There is no wrong way to be trans, and if you don’t even want to identify as trans, you’re still valid and worthy of respect. Gender is a very personal experience, and nobody can tell you who you are but you. Do what makes you feel best and trust yourself.
I wish people, in general, knew that a person's life is their business, and as long as they’re not hurting anyone, we should leave it at that. Every trans person is different just like every cis person is different. It’s okay to ask what pronouns somebody uses. Trans people can share as much or as little as they’d like, and if you think a question might be offensive, please just Google it instead. The best way to be an ally is to be supportive, non-judgemental, and respect people’s identities, no matter how it might make you feel.
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TEI: What are you proud of?
L: I’m proud of how much stronger my hardships have made me, and how much of a better person I’ve become in spite of the harder times. When your identity is seemingly debated everywhere you go, you have to develop thick skin, effective coping mechanisms, and a stable sense of self. I wouldn’t consider the hand I was dealt very easy, but I am proud of what I’ve done, given challenging circumstances. I’m proud of how I’ve not only chosen to survive as a trans person, but to thrive.
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TEI: What has been trans helped you discover about yourself? About the world?
L: It helped me realize more about the world than myself. People can really surprise you. You can’t tell who’s going to be prejudiced against you and who isn’t. I also learned that people can change a lot over time, and somebody who wasn’t accepting in the past can come to support you in the future. A lot more people are accepting of trans people than it might seem, and I feel like it’s only getting better with time.